is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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