Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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