i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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