Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
