Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
