Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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