Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
