just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
