69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
