I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
