I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize