It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize