wanna go halves on a baby?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
