Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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