Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
