i was born a porn star she said
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
