yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
