Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
