STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
