It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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