I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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