Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
