need another drink. this is the easiest way
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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