You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
