Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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