i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
