What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize