I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
