I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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