Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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