he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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