this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
