Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
