Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
