A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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