So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
either way he was missing a nipple.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
