he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
