Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize