my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
