I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
