i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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