..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
