im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
