I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
