Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
