He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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