Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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