I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
