yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
