i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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