Cold hands, warm shart.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
