There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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