I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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