yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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