the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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