so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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