PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
