I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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