Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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