She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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