i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
