I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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