Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
