I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Sorry my hands just texted you
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
