in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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