JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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