Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
