I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
