just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
