i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
