i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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