I think I died a long time ago.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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