Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This baby is an asshole
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
