Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
