We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
