Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
