what if every blade of grass was a penis?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
