I looked at my own cervix.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm both gender and math confused
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize