The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize