Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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