I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
