I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
